Sitting With It

How often do we let ourselves really feel? I’m talking about sitting with it, no distractions, no rush to get over the pain or glide past the joy. In the age of "just keep it moving," we’re conditioned to find solutions the moment things get uncomfortable, or even when they feel too good to last. We’re taught that pain is something to "fix" and joy is a fleeting moment to capture and post, not something to sit with.

But what if we didn’t immediately move on? What if we paused long enough to sit in the rawness of rejection, of disappointment, and yes, even in the fullness of joy? What could happen if we made space for it all, without rushing past?

When I think about what it means to sit with negative emotions, it’s uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. The rejection, the hurt, the disappointment, we want to move past these feelings because they sting. Our instinct is to fix it or find something to distract ourselves. Society, after all, pushes us to heal quickly, as if the only goal is to feel better, not to feel deeply.

But I’ve learned through my own therapy and growth that there’s power in sitting with the hard stuff. To truly sit with the sadness or frustration is challenging, but it’s also the most honest thing we can do for ourselves. It’s in those moments that we understand what’s beneath the surface, that we process the experience instead of just pushing it away. And in that process, there’s healing. Not the kind of healing that says “I’m over it,” but the kind that says “I see it, I understand it, and I’m making space for it.”

And you know something else: we rarely sit with our joy. We experience moments of happiness, of connection, of accomplishment, and what do we do? We rush through it. We don’t stay in it long enough to let it sink in. There’s always another task, another goal, another thing that’s next.

Recently, I found myself sitting with joy, something I don’t do often enough. I had been receiving positive feedback on some of my posts, and honestly, it touched me. It made me feel seen, like the words I was putting out into the world were landing in someone else’s heart. My experiences, my ability to find the words, mirrored someone else’s, and we connected. That feedback was more than just kind words, it was proof that vulnerability creates community.

Instead of brushing past that moment, I made a conscious decision: I sat with it. I didn’t rush off to the next topic, the next thing to write about. I let myself feel the connection and gratitude. I let the warmth of that feeling stay with me for the rest of the day. And it felt good. It felt right.

Whether it’s pain or joy, sitting with our emotions is how we grow. It’s how we learn to be with ourselves in the most authentic way. Too often, we’re on autopilot, rushing from one emotion to the next without ever pausing long enough to really feel it. And when we do that, we rob ourselves of the full human experience.

In my own journey, I’ve found that when I sit with emotions, when I allow myself the space to fully embrace them, it deepens my self-awareness. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Because every time I make space for my emotions, I make space for me. And in doing that, I’m better able to connect with others. That’s what this process of sitting with it has taught me: it’s not just about feeling more; it’s about being more present, more open, and more connected.

So here’s my invitation to you: sit with it. Whether it’s the pain, the joy, the frustration, or the fulfillment. Give yourself the gift of staying in that moment. Don’t rush past it. Don’t seek the next distraction. Let yourself feel fully, without judgment or expectation. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself when you stop running and start sitting.

The next time something moves you, whether it’s a smile or a tear, pause. Stay with it. You deserve to feel everything in its fullness. Because sitting with your emotions, good or bad, is how you find yourself. And maybe, just maybe, it’s how you’ll find your connection with others too.